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If that was the gay agenda all along, some of us didn’t get the memo. But gay men shouldn’t be the ones to comment on how these straight men are ruining their wives’ lives, especially because we never stop fetishising straight film actors and athletes and going out of our way to elaborate how they can destroy our holes. That’s important since there’s a level of gatekeeping within queer spaces, where you have to be so and so and identify as such and such to find yourself being accepted in the bigger community. So what were those encounters?įarhad also believes that other gay men should back off from defining what sexuality bracket these men fall under.
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Also, because he very much claims he’s straight to this day. I know for a fact that he’s straight now because when we interact, we don’t delve upon those days of mutual gratification. However, today, my childhood friend is married and has a wife and kid of his own, and he even had a great pre-Covid wedding party. While it was mostly me on the giving end of it, I thought of it as early target practice, since today I am as gay as Easter Sunday. A year later, the jerk-off sessions turned into handjobs, making out, and blowjobs. We obviously didn’t think too much about it. So that’s what we did for almost two years. His mom would be out for work and his younger siblings would still be at school. There, at the age of 14, we would freefall into the murky backalleys of early 2000s internet pornography - the sorts that even after you shut the browser, a pop-up of a woman moaning kept returning on the desktop.īefore we got shunned from the local cyber cafes, we would take our half-hour surfing period to look at images of pink penises and vaginas and excitedly head to my friend’s place after to masturbate together. Phil looks full, Shelly Duvall need protection from herself, Juan feels like Richard Simmons should be helping her, Charlie Sheen released a poem, tiger blood transfusions?, stay-cation, no fizzy water for Sloane, Charlie Sheen went off his HIV meds, lightning round: Jennifer Aniston's zingo nips, is The Rock the sexiest man alive?, he's a delicious piece of Samoan man-meat, he's sweet silly and goofy, Kevin Hart almost killed Sloane by kicking everyone out of her gym, Juan gives us his "straight voice", Melania's sleeping crown.One of my earliest experiences was chilling with my childhood buddy, playing video games, banging hot wheels into each other, and borrowing 10 rupees from our parents to go surfing at a cyber cafe. bus arms, Sloane might have threatened a 16 year old, the internet is the most disrespectful person, Mike Pence is the head of a pimple, old white men with money are the WORST, invading a gay man's hole with hate, vile scary and violent.speaking of which- Charlie Sheen is in the news, Dr. Stomach bugs and getting thin, Juan might be getting arrested by immigration, Sloane's meeting with Janet Reno, Pittsburg accents, grand dames on instagram, who cares about Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford?, Marcia Gay Harden is a strapping woman, "I seen her at", "I been knowin her", it's Thanksgiving so Sloane got fired again, Fuck 2016, Kylie Jenner is a prophet, Clowns, Prince and Janet Reno died this year, why does McDonalds never have ice cream?, the revelation voice, Juan's Thanksgiving and Christmas plans, Sloane's mom isn't cooking Thanksgiving dinner and it affected her greatly, Thanksgiving Brunch, Sloane reads the Thanksgiving menu at Rosa Mexicano in New York, Cubana Beauty Queen pregnancy announcement, Hot Chopix, Juan skips the dick to get to Hilliary, Hillary's first appearance after her loss, Sloane thinks HRC is out of fucks to give, Juan thinks Hillary should run for senate again, Sloane can't handle The Real, Ginuwine's dick is at attention and is the pride of America, Sloane gets the urge, getting the "beep-beeps", dick that hurts from the start, the manniquin challenge, at the gym, at dinner, the terrible chicken parm at Macaroni Grill, Shirley Caesar and her Thanksgiving remixes, J-Lo and Marc Anthony kissing to stay relevant, J-Lo and Affleck, Affleck pulls some hot latin women, Sloane wants to kiss Marc Anthony and Juan agrees that he's dripping swagoo, glo body shimmer does not wash off, Sloane got trolled the day before the election, pregnant dancing, Sloane got cut to the core.